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If I had to, I would marry Jenny Lewis.

And some­times, when you’re on,
You’re really fuck­ing on. 
And your friends, they sing along,
And they love you.

But the loads are so extreme,
That the good seems fuck­ing cheap,
And it teases you for weeks
In its absence.

But you’ll fight and you’ll make it through,
You’ll fake it if you have to.
And you’ll show up with a smile.

You’ll be bet­ter and you’ll be bet­ter smarter,
And more grown up and a bet­ter daugh­ter,
Or son and a real good friend.

You’ll be awake, you’ll be alert,
You’ll be pos­i­tive though it hurts,
And you’ll laugh and embrace all your friends.

You’ll be a real good lis­tener,
You’ll be hon­est, you’ll be brave,
You’ll be hand­some, you’ll be beautiful.

You’ll be happy.

I have to say that this ad cam­paign makes me want to watch Gos­sip Girl.

Old List /​ Bath­room Scratch

So, lis­ten. I got busi­ness cards. But fuck you, I wouldn’t have even got­ten them if there had not been sev­eral occa­sions in the past weeks where I needed to like, give them to peo­ple. As it hap­pens, they look pretty good. But I’ll also be hon­est and say that this is trial num­ber two. Even though is costs more, use Mod­ern Post­card for your var­i­ous self-​​promotion needs because any­thing you order from VistaPrint will look like a butthole.

MOTHER OF COCKS. Don’t leave me com­ments telling me that I left the .com off my email address. I just noticed and I’m not happy about it. And I blame you.