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I just submitted my application to Parsons online. So all my applications are in. The list is:
Next update will be in a couple of weeks. I know that you can’t wait.
Photo: Shane Lavalette
New York was a blast, as always, though I didn’t get to do as much as I wanted to since I slept so god damn late every day. The biggest bummer is that I didn’t get a chance to even call Katarina. So that was a bummer. But focusing on the positive I got to go to this crazy party after the opening of “The Fever,” (David Byrne, Parker Posey, Sam Rockwell, Alan Cumming were all there) and I met the famed and wonderful Jen Bekman, who gave me lots of, well, encouraging advice about grad school. Sigh. And then Josh Lehrer took pictures of me naked.
Haha, well. I guess this is why I moved to DC: to be in New York when hostory is made. Tomorrow, DC will play host to over half a million people demonstrating against the war. It’s going to be quite a sight to see, so I hope that some of you are there with your cameras. Let me know how it goes
I’m going to be spending the weeked in New York, which will be great. I’m going by Jen Bekman, checking out the Cartier-Bresson thing at ICP, and unloading a bunch of old stuff at B&H. Also, I’m going with my brother and sister-in-law to a New Group opening, which sounds like it’s going to be a pretty rad party. It’s cold as balls there. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Last night I had something of a profound realization anticipating the first day of my final semester in college: I love being here. I have always been in a massive hurry to get on to more adult stages of life, especially in high school which is a period that didn’t produce a lot of happy memories. With that in mind, I have tried to appreciate the experience of being in college, bask in the the age-appropriateness of it. Even so, I have, for the past couple of years, have been struggling with what seemed to be a kind of protracted detainment in an environment exhausted of its resources ushered in by a bout of depression at the end of sophomore year from which it has taken a lot of time and hard work for me to bounce back.
Since about April, the goal of switching gears from Government to Fine Art and some time in grad school has provided me with energizing focus and a much-needed infusion of discipline. Last night I was scanning negatives from break, another positive reinforcement of focus and discipline, and I realized, rather quickly and startlingly, that approaching school this way makes it pretty fun. It has taken me this long to figure out my direction and find my rhythm, and now it’s time to leave? I’m going to miss all these educative conflicts; battling to keep regular hours and eat consistently and at normal times, grappling with absurd ideas for ridiculous papers, mustering all my intellectual capacity to meet some professors astronomical standards - but with absolutely no stakes.
I am an expert at creating opportunities for myself; I am equally adept at squandering them. I wish that I had found all of this earlier to have this experience for a longer period of time when I think of all the things I could have learned last year but didn’t. I wish I had worked harder sooner and maybe even had gone to NYU when I had the opportunity. These aren’t regrets per se, just sort of acknowledgments of what I now know that I am really capable of.
In response to a certain British novelists suggestion that, for me, Yale or Columbia, or some such place, would serve as a shortcut into the gallery system - it would be fantastic if they were, but that’s not what this next step is immediately about. I have been operating below capacity for so long and now that I’m finally able to push myself and reap the benefits, stopping before I’m really done soaking it all in seems like the worst possible thing I could do for myself. It is remarkable that the British novelist in question found her way to my humble blog, so I would like to thank her for doing so and triggering this evaluation of my intentions.
Fucking a. Now I’m going to get something to eat in the dinning hall before going to do other collegey things. Cause in a few more months, it’s all going to be over.
Over the weekend, I applied to MFA programs at Yale, Columbia, RISD and the International Center of Photography. It took about 36 hours of work cost $325 in application fees and printing costs. The Parsons application is due by Feb 1, and I’m almost done with it.
So, I’ve applied. We’ll see what happens. But I did it, which should indicate how serious I am about it. Those of you who know me, which is, I assume, everyone who reads this, know that I don’t every do anything I don’t really want to do, even when I am obligated to do it. So. I’m pretty fucking serious about grad school is my point.
I’ll tell you who’s awesome: Katarina Jerinic, who helped me with my essays, picking portfolio images and spent who knows how many hours on the phone with me hashing all this shit out. May God rain blessing down upon her.
And I hope I get in somewhere.
I got back to DC last night with almost 50 pages of new negatives. Unfortunately, almost everything I shot with my Hasselblad was ruined by a light leak I didn’t know about… but there are still a couple usable exposures per roll. I have a ton of 35mm stuff, some of which is pretty good. I’ll be putting it all up on flickr, and reposting some stuff here that is illustrative of the direction I hope to be moving in. Like this:
More to come on this topic.