Tour Diary: Day 3: No Fucking Way
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So, get this. After the Chico gig, we drove through the night (again) to get to Portland to meet up with a friend of the band’s and also just to take it easy for a little while before heading to the show in Richland. I was stoked to check out Portland because I’d never been to these hip Pacific Northwestern cities before, and it was cool to check the place out. But in decided to spend our three free hours there, we skipped checking our Crater Lake and, more signifiicantly, that giant rock from the Goonies. So then we drove for hours more into Richland, WA (the show here is in a Chinese Restaurant called Ray’s Golden Lion) one to discover… we have the wrong fucking day.
The show is fucking tomorrow. We could have stayed in Portland. Or even in Chico for that matter. And seen Crater Lake. And gone to the Goonies rock. We could have all done those things. Instead, we went to Taco Bell and then Walgreens, then got kinda toasted in a motel room and watched four hours on The First 48 on A&E. Where’s the glamor? Where??
Ok, so some other thing’s also happened. First off, I’ll tell you that if ever find yourself in Yreka, CA at about 4 in the morning and you need to take a number two, you’re going to have a problem. There’s one public toilet about in all of town at about that time – a Shell station – and I sat by the door in the freezing cold morning air for like 35 minutes this morning waiting for a trucker who snatched the key like seconds before I could to finish washing his boots. I had to go so bad. Oh my god. Just thinking about now is painful.
The reason I was so backed up was because I had been the only one awake/sober after the Chico show, and drove from across a great swath of Northern California including Shasta National Forest, Shasta Lake Recreation Area, the Shasta River, Mt. Shasta City, and Mt Shasta itself – a huge area – almost all of it with nowhere to really stop. I’ll say though that even in the dark it was breathtakingly beautiful. Not as beautiful as Oregon was in the daylight though. The elevation was about 4000 feet, and boreal mountaintops were hidden by fog just as the sun was rising. It was one of the most amazing sites I’ve ever seen. And then Drew took over the driving and I passed the fuck out.
Also, Bryan has sustained an injury so disgusting that having experienced firsthand, I have to share you out and ruin whatever snack you’re eating while you’re reading this. I guess there’s something about the shape of his bass that makes it so he’s constantly scratching himself up against it. So, after seven or eight days of sustained damage, the thing has turned into a giant disgusting cyst. We went to Walgreens to figure out what he should use to treat it and ended up leaving with antibiotic cream, band-aids, and an ace bandage. But Brian decided to take matters into his own hands. He was determined to pop the fucking thing, and so he and Drew, the Jonbenet’s drummer, headed into the bathroom to do just that.
They were in there for about 20 minutes. Mike, his girlfriend Marlen and I tried not pay attention to the horrible screaming coming from behind the door. And then, after something of a crescendo, mike emerged, explaining that when the thing popped, it squirted straight up into the air, almost the ceiling. I then got a clipse of Bryan turning on the shower, blood running down his entire arm. It was the most disgusting thing I think I have ever witnessed. Ever. And I share it with you, my dear readers. I was so sick that I couldn’t bring myself to take a picture. And if I had, I probably wouldn’t have the guts to ever actually look at it again. Tomorrow we’re making jackass go to the fucking doctor.
I want to apologize for how quickly these posts are written and for the lack of links. I’ll do better on that front in the future. But now it’s bedtime! So Peace!
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I was born in Pasco, next to Richland. I’m absolutely sorry that of any place to be stuck an extra day, it was Richland. Fucking horrible. What’d you end up doing?
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Haha, that’s awesome, Star. We’re actually having an ok time, we’re on our way to sit by the river and I think drink beer. Is that something close to the native Tri-Cities experience? We want to be as authentic as we can.
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Between that and the Golden Lion, you’re pretty much covered.
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Ureka! Isn’t that where they found gold? There is a very good novel set in Ureka called the Loss of Leon Meed.
It’s rad.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I’m not sure if Yreka Ureka and Eureka are all the same place. Maybe we should look it up. but if they are, then yes.