The guy on the train
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I forgot to post about this before. But. I was on the early morning train from San Diego to LA yesterday trying to sleep of course. This old guy who’s probably like 4′9″ get’s on at like Santa Ana or somewhere, serious Scottish accent, bald, big glasses, brown suit wearing a Dallas cowboys ski cap, talking all the time. He sits down across from me (the seats face eachother, or course) and continues talking, even though my eyes are obviously closed.
So. These are the things he tells me.
- His name is Gerald Scott. He is 82. He is Jewish.
- He is on his way to make an Aliyah to Israel which means that he’s becoming a citizen there.
- He used to be the head engineer (i.e. “Scottie”) on British Naval vessles.
- His wife just died, handed me her death certificate.
- He scattered her ashes from a Israeli battleship off the coast of Haifa.
- He spied on Arab states for Israel throughout his career in the Britsh navy.
- He recently had a doctor check his sperm count discovering he’s fit to have children.
- He plans to “arrange a marriage” between himself and “a young, 18, 20 year old Israeli soldier” and he intends to “produce” his own babies.
- He is completely fit. He “wakes up every morning with an erection” and “masturbates twice a week”.
- Since his wife was ill for a long time, he hasn’t “had sex in 22 years.”
- His new job in Israel will allow him to carry a machine gun with which he intends to bag himself a few Hezbollah before he dies.
This man asked me for my phone number so that we could keep in touch.